Geometry with Mrs. Morris

Well hello! I thought I would check in and update as I’m finally settling into the 2^nd week of the new school year. The past month has been a whirlwind. With Marshall being out of town on business for 2 weeks, the boys starting school with Laney, and me going back to work, we’ve all been doing our best to stay positive and sane while making many adjustments. It’s times like these that make me sure I wouldn’t be able to do this without our wonderful families around. Actually, I take that back. Marsh and I could definitely do it on our own…we just wouldn’t have time to brush our teeth, shower, or eat any meals other than Laney’s left-over mac-n-cheese. Ha.

Despite the fact that it’s still 107 degrees outside, summer is drawing to a close and the school year’s arrival promises that cool fall breezes are on their way. It’s such a bittersweet time for me. I constantly struggle with my decision to go back to work. I’m ready to go back and not ready all at the same time. I feel excited and guilty. I’m sure and I’m unsure. Regardless of my inner struggle, though, one thing is certain – I love my children AND I love teaching.

I laugh when I tell people that I have the 2 hardest jobs in the world – mother and teacher. And neither of them pay well (monetarily, at least). I consider them the hardest because I’m certain they’re the most important jobs in the world. Who else has the lives of children more moldably in her hands than a mother or teacher? And that’s kind of scary to me. It means that if I’m not doing my absolute best at all times from when I wake to when I fall sleep, I’m letting my child down. Or I’m letting someone else’s child down. Or I’m letting a chance to change the world slip away. It’s a heavy burden to carry. And it’s wonderful and exhausting all at the same time. My situation always reminds of what my mom says about motherhood – “A lot of times you go to bed feeling like a failure.” I feel like this a lot. Because no matter how good I feel like I do, it’s not good enough for our children.

As I begin my third year teaching (I can’t believe it’s already my THIRD year!), I feel the weight of what I’m doing more than ever. I think I feel it the most this year because I’m knee-deep in motherhood and am already thinking about the kind of teacher I pray for MY kids to have. And I realize that I’m not that teacher. I’m not good enough. I’m not patient enough. I’m not loving enough. I’m called to love my students the way that I want my children’s teachers to love them. And this year I’m going to remind myself of that every morning. Isn’t it wonderful that I have the chance to have a fresh start each year in my career? I’m so thankful for that!

I found this print on Pinterest (my new addiction) and want to put it on my desk at school. That way, even when I’m tired and cranky from a sleepless night of feeding babies, it will be there staring at me and reminding me to be loving. It will remind me to think about how hard it is to be in high school. I forget that sometimes. And when I’m getting frustrated because my students don’t care about Geometry and aren’t going to ace the TAKS test, it will remind me that there are more important things I teach than math. And it will remind me that if I make them FEEL loved, I can sleep peacefully at night.