They're here! They're here! After a long road of pregnancy, a few worrisome scares, and a painful two-week wait for Brooks to be released from the hospital, we finally have our healthy twin boys home with us. They turned one month old yesterday. I'm so happy it hurts sometimes. That's the short version of the story. Here's the rest of it...
On June 6, 2011, Marshall and I pulled out of our driveway at about 5:45 AM. The day had finally arrived. After several weeks of feeling like I would go into labor at any minute, we were finally going to the hospital for a planned induction at exactly 37 weeks. Marshall's grandmother had sweetly offered to come over early that morning to stay with Laney so we didn't have to wake her. As we drove, a little part of me ached to go back home to my sweet, sleeping girl. As much as I wanted to meet our baby boys, I was sad that we would never be "just us three" again. Everything was about to change for good. But most of me was excited. Excited to see them. Excited to not be pregnant anymore. Excited to finally begin what we had been preparing for and looking forward to for the past nine months.
We checked in and the nurses started my IV before I even had time to think or be nervous. I kick myself now that I didn't even think to take one last picture of my pregnant self. It seemed like no time before my doctor came in to break my water. The anesthesiologist walked in to give me the epidural only moments later. Then we waited. Our families had arrived by this time, so we passed a few hours by talking with them about everything on our minds. Would I be able to deliver the boys like we'd planned or would I end up having an emergency c-section? Would they look like Laney did when she was born? Would they look exactly alike? And so on. I was put on some medication that made me feel nauseated and loopy due to a spike in my blood pressure, so I was happy when the nurse "checked me" and said I was almost there. Not too long after that, I was ready to go! Marshall scrubbed in and we prepared to head to the operating room. The plan was for me to deliver the twins vaginally, but we were required to do so in an operating room to be ready for the possibility of a c-section, if needed. This sometimes happens when delivering twins for various reasons. Here we are, ready to go to the OR:
We then moved to the operating room, which was already full of nurses and doctors preparing for us. It was so much different than when I delivered Laney. The air was a-buzz and you could tell this was not your run-of-the-mill delivery. There were so many people in there rushing around. Some were helping and some were just wanting to watch a vaginal twin delivery because, apparently, there aren't very many of those. I wasn't expecting so much excitement. I got really nervous and started shaking profusely. I was partly shaking because I was excited and partly because I was terrified! It had just hit me - one way or another, I was about to have TWO BABIES! Marshall held my hand and talked to me to get my mind off things, but he was a little too white in the face to provide much comfort. I could tell he was unexpectedly nervous, too. Then it was go time. I was surprised and relieved as I heard Parker crying before I thought possible. Only a minute later, Brooks was crying, too. I cannot explain the feeling I felt as they handed me my baby boys, one at a time. Just like with Laney. It was magical. There is no greater spousal bonding than bringing a child into the world together. And there is nothing that compares to meeting your child, a child that will grow to be the most important person in your life, for the first time.
Everything after that looked a lot different than I had imagined. Parker's breathing was concerning because it was a little fast and Brooks was unfortunately having a lot of trouble breathing. They said his lungs were underdeveloped. This was crushing to me considering I had agreed to be and wanted to be induced into labor that day. My OBGYN assured me that decision was made because it needed to be and that my blood pressure would have become dangerous if not. This made me feel a little better. I don't think I realized how bad Brooks' breathing actually was as I went to my recovery room. All I knew was that I wasn't allowed to see the boys yet and that they were in the good hands of the nurses in the NICU. So I ordered two large Diet Cokes for my no-longer-pregnant self, drank them up with no guilt (finally!), and laid down for a while. Later that night, Marshall and I went to see our babies in the special care nursery. Parker was looking great, but Brooks didn't. I don't know why, but I still just kept thinking, "They'll both be fine tomorrow and we'll go home the next day."
I soon realized that wasn't the case. What had begun as an exciting, happy stay in the hospital quickly became gloom as we spent three long nights waiting for me to recover and for Brooks to get better. We had gotten word that we would be able to take Parker home with us when we checked out the next day, but Brooks would have to stay. So we spent our time sitting in that hospital room that had begun to feel like a jail cell and looked forward to the two times a day that the pediatrician would make his rounds and give us news on Brooks. It was devastating each time he came in and said that Brooks wasn't looking any better and they weren't sure why. We checked out of the hospital the next morning to go home not knowing what was wrong with Brooks' lungs or when he would be able to come home. I didn't even take a picture as I wheel-chaired out with Parker. I just didn't want to. I had always imagined all the pictures I would have of them in the hospital together. With them apart, it just didn't seem right. Here is Parker right before we checked out:
The next week and a half was pretty miserable. Our first night home with Parker, Laney woke up throwing up all night. The next day, Marshall got whatever "bug" she had. He got so sick that we ended up having Marshall's parents come watch Parker and Laney so that I could take him to the emergency room that night. We spent 6 hours there with Marshall on an IV. The next day my mom and sister got sick with the bug. We felt pulled in all directions as everybody was getting sick, we were trying to go to the hospital to see Brooks as much as possible, and Parker and Laney were at home. And to add to the stress, Marshall had also gone back to work by this point. I felt like no matter where I was, I needed to be two other places, too. It seemed like our lives would be stressfully on hold until Brooks came home. And when would that be? A week? A month? More? I looked forward to each time I could go see Brooks at the hospital so much. Once I was there, though, I would get so sad. Seeing my little baby boy struggle to breathe was so painful. The sweet nurses would just hand me a box of Kleenexes as I walked in the room. Here are some pictures of Brooks in the hospital:
We thought about Brooks day and night and prayed for miraculous healing. The best day of my life was when we got a call from the pediatrician and he said that Brooks was showing signs of improvement. After that first good report, he started getting better by leaps and bounds! Each day was a little brighter than the one before. We still don't know for sure what was wrong with his lungs. It may have been something such as viral pneumonia that just had to run its course. After 13 long days of being away from Brooks, we finally got to go up there and have a "room-in night" where Marshall, Parker, Brooks, and I all stayed in a hospital room together for a night. Once that went well, we got to take Brooks home the next day! Here is a picture of Parker and Brooks reunited in the hospital:
I can't believe they're here. It's wonderful. I'm so thankful. I'm so in love.
